Ask yourself: How many words begin with the letter “G”?
You’ll probably come up with “A lot!”
How many can you actually list? Fifteen? Twenty? Now ask: Why the HELL is this important? What good is knowing how many words begin with the letter “G,” or even knowing how many of those words you can use in daily conversation?
“It’s not,” is the answer you’ll undoubtedly get stuck with. And you’re right.
What is important is that you’ll never need to know everything, but you should know what I’m about to tell you:
Abraham Lincoln has special relevance this year.
Of course, I have no idea what or why that special relevance is. My mom and grandma simply insisted that it's so, but couldn’t provide details. Therefore, I will give a Kudos Bar to anyone who (after you’ve finished reading) goes out to research this and returns with a suitable explanation. I’ve considered it the conundrum of my summer (but have been too lazy to bother finding out the facts myself. That doesn’t mean you have to be).
And that’s all. It’s been super busy these days. You all know how it is: Time is tasty, but there are lots of people at the table.
So thus it is as we reach our end – and that is where we are tonight.
Good luck, until next time.
Note: Dracula rides a Vespa, glowing green.
Ancillary Note: For purposes of toasting, English muffins are essentially the same thing as bagels.
